#i need his fatass suffocating my face

[casinocarpediem]

I just want him to sit on my face is that so much to ask😭😭😭😞😞 #oscarisaacmalnourishment

[ficsforeren]

YOU KNOW WHO IT ISSS

I'm the person who rated your Eren's based on their tits, you know what's next

We clapping them cheeks tonight.

College- 7/10 always trying to hide that fatass in sweatpants,, can't hide anything from me

Vampire- 8.5/10 it jiggles when you- nevermind

Mafia- 6/10 above average, already built like the letter P he don't need ass

Secret agent- 7/10 his booty looks especially big in those black trousers like DAYUMM

Rockstar- 6.9/10 i imagine his wife slapped his ass while he was cooking and it made him feel like a housewife LMAO

Knight- 5/10 LISTEN it's small but cute.

Soldier- 100/10 i would like to die by having him sit on my face and suffocate me to death

Himbo- 10/10 on my life this man deserves that good good

Idol- 135142425728281/10 BACKSHOTS BE SOUNDING LIKE THE WW2

ANON YOU ARE INSANE HAHAHAHAAH OH MY GOD ALKSDJFAKLSDJFLK LMAOOOOOOO

[artificialqueens]

I'm Sorry, Believe Me, I Love You, But Not In That Way (Biadore) - Lemonade

AN: Nothing about this is happy, but I am happy with how this turned out! Comments and critiques can be sent to my blog @aqlemonade!

Title from Not In That Way by Sam Smith. Story based on the morning after the recent Biadore reunion.

Danny wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t oblivious. He knew the pattern: They were good, until they’d see each other in person. Some weird energy would encase them, bonus points if you threw alcohol onto this already wildfire of a disaster. They’d tease the line of friendly affection and ‘those two need to get a room’, then they would. They’d fuck, and it’d be so goddamn incredible. Danny swore sex with Roy was the best sex he ever had. Then they’d wake up, and it’d be like this; awkward and dull. The flame from the night before burning out when the sun came up.

Danny’s nose nuzzled Roy’s back, their naked bodies pressed up against each other in a tangled mess of limbs. The more awake Danny grew, the more noticeable his dead arm trapped under Roy became. It was uncomfortable, he couldn’t feel his fingers, and he wouldn’t want to have woken up any other way. He gave half a thought to how miserable the pins and needles sensation would be once Roy freed his arm, but right now his attention was better served breathing in Roy’s scent and pressing feather light kisses along his shoulder.

“Morning.” Danny greeted as Roy shifted in his arms, a content smile spreading across lips that were still grazing tanned skin. Roy looked back at Danny for a split second before taking in a deep breath. “Morning, kid.” He said, regret already seeping into his bones. All he wanted was Danny out of his bed, this shouldn’t have happened.

Danny squeezed Roy tighter against him in a move that he knew was suppose to be intimate and affectionate, but just made him feel suffocated and trapped. Roy squirmed uncomfortably, the way you do when you really want a person to get away from you, but you’re trying to be nice about it—or like when they’re your best friend who you absolutely love to death, but not in that way, but you keep falling into bed with them and leading them on because the thought of breaking their heart breaks yours in return, though that’s what is ultimately going to happen in the long run way—yeah, something like that.

Roy twisted away from Danny, sitting up and scooting himself to the edge of the bed on his side. “So uh, you have any plans for today kid?” Danny wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t oblivious. He knew the pattern: They were good, until they’d see each other in person. Some weird energy would encase them, bonus points if you threw alcohol onto this already wildfire of a disaster. They’d tease the line of friendly affection and ‘those two need to get a room’, then they would. They’d fuck, and it’d be so goddamn incredible. Danny swore sex with Roy was the best sex he ever had. Then they’d wake up, and it’d be like this; awkward and dull. The flame from the night before burning out when the sun came up. Danny knew what “kid” meant, it meant I’m sorry, believe me, I love you, but not in that way.

Danny shot a lopsided grin Roy’s way. He wanted to spend the day with him, but he knew all Roy wanted was his space, so he would oblige. Danny shook his head, black curls bouncing with movement. Roy swore moonlight swirled around in those curls. “Just some adult stuff. I’ve been doing a lot of adulting lately.” Danny chuckled dryly in an attempt to cover up his heartbreak, but it was futile. Danny wasn’t dumb, but neither was Roy. He knew the pattern just as well and he knew how badly broken it left Danny, yet they both continued on in this pointless cycle.

“Your overalls are over here.” Roy broke the deafening silence that had fallen around them, picking the clothing off of carpeted floors and handing them to the man in his bed. “And your shirt.” He discovered once the overalls weren’t sprawled out over it. Roy handed Danny a striped thong after, “And this.” People always talked about the walk of shame, but Danny found this more shameful. At least every step was closer to home. Every piece of clothing Roy picked up was just another reminder of what a mistake Danny was, and Danny knew it. He could hear it in his voice, hear it in the silence that closed in on them, see it in the way Roy wouldn’t look him in the fucking eye, and had his stupid back turned to him. Danny hated him so fucking much because he loved him so fucking bad. Because he fucking loved him, and Roy kept saying all of these beautiful things about him, but they were never enough. Never enough to make Roy love him or want him, never enough to keep Roy captivated for too long. He was never enough.

Danny choked on his thoughts and Roy turned around in a hurry. “Are you okay?” The careful concern in Roy’s voice, the urgency in which he whipped around when he thought something was wrong sunk Danny’s chest in. He really did love him, just not in that way. “I’m fine.” The younger scratched out. He kicked a comfortable blanket off of his body, revealing naked skin that Roy turned away at the sight of. The nice way of thinking about it was that he was giving Danny his privacy to get dressed. The reality of it was the purple bruises fully bloomed on Danny’s neck, and scratches painting his thighs served as just another reminder of the regretful night they shared. After the clothes Roy didn’t need to feel any worse about it than he already did. It pulled on Danny’s heartstrings, physically creating a pain in his chest, but what could he do? He was just a mistake to Roy, not a flourishing love.

Danny got dressed in silence save for the scuffling of his feet and an aggravated huff when he couldn’t find his other sock. He supposed that was just another piece of himself that he’d never get back from Roy (though comparing his heart to a sock wasn’t the most poetic thought Danny ever had, definitely not writing that into the angsty song he’d scribble out after this encounter and a fatass bowl).

Danny stepped into his boots and clipped one of the overall straps. “I’ll walk you to the door.” Roy said, slipping on a robe that hung from the back of his bedroom door. Danny smiled weakly at him. He really can’t wait to get rid of me. Another sinking feeling followed by a spreading pain hit Danny’s chest. He loved Roy so much, but Roy didn’t love him in that way.

They walked to the front door together, not hand in hand like Danny would have wanted. Stepping over the threshold caused a feeling of loss Danny couldn’t quite wrap his head around. He felt like he lost Roy, when he really never had him in the first place. He pictured that door closing in his face and he could already feel the last bit of his heart being chipped away at. “So I’ll see you?” Roy’s question brought Danny back from the brink of his spiraling thoughts. “Now that you’re back in L.A. I expect to see you more.” Danny could read in Roy’s tone that he was being sincere, not just making awkward small talk that they’d never follow through on because slamming the door immediately in someone’s face seemed too rude of a thing to do even when you really wanted to. “Yeah, we’ll hang out. I missed you.” And he did. He missed Roy so fucking much he got an apartment 20 minutes away from him so he could ‘run into’ Roy at Starbucks, or when he was walking Sammy and Dede just to have a few extra minutes with him. “I missed you too.” Roy offered a warm smile. “Just no more of this stuff.” He said in a joking manner, but he wasn’t joking, he never was when he said it (every fucking time they’d be ending another night like this). He always said it, but never followed through with it. “Yeah, no more of this stuff.” Neither did Danny.

With that, and a few uncomfortable goodbyes, the chapter to this bad story was closed. The door was shut in Danny’s face, and his heart shattered like always, and he couldn’t wait to experience it all again.

[rheasmirror]

Birthday

So...this is a story I made for my ex, but I never shown it to him. Even though... it was partially about him, I still adore it, and I want it to be canon for Rhea and Felix/Adam.

(Five months ago)

"Felix!!! Do you want to play the question game?"

I ran into our bedroom to find him sitting on the floor looking at the ceiling.

"What's that?"

"A game, where we ask each other questions, you ask one, I answer, I ask one, you answer."

"Sure, I'll play. You first" He stuck his tongue out at me.

I sat down in front of him, and he looked down to see my face as I stuck my tongue  back at him.

I thought about it.

"What is....your favorite color?"

"Red. What is....your favorite song?"

"One thousand years. By Christina Perri"

"Oh! I know that one!"

"What is...your favorite animal?"

"Ouch! That's tough. I like horses though."

I felt my heart gush and I couldn't help but let out an "Awwww"

"I had one that was my best friend and whenever I went to her shed, she would come up to the edge and playfully nudge my shoulder with her nose, to ask me to feed her grass. I would sit out there for hours feeding her."

My heart gushed even more.

"That's so sweet."

"I haven't seen her in a while, because she belongs to my foster parents."

"Well...being a space pirate, it's kind of hard to. And I am sorry...."

Felix smiled a little.

"It's okay. Their good people, and so I know she is being taken care of. What is...your favorite time of day?"

"Nightime... Darkness fascinates me, and it gets even better with rain. What is...your favorite holiday?"

Felix smirked.

"Halloween, for two things. Costumes, free candy. And it may be ten days after my birthday."

I gasped and flailed my arms, wrapping him into a tackle hug.

"Oh my gosh! Now I know when your birthday is!!!"

Felix laughed.

"When is yours?"

I got off of him and helped him sit straight up again.

"November 20th."

We finished playing the game, and I thought about all this new information about him. We met in highschool, and passed in the hallways, occasionally hugging from time to time (Free hugs peeps. Amazing) and I somewhat felt some sort of feeling for him back then. Now through all this saving the world and universe crap, I fell head over heels for him and I barely knew a thing about him, just that I wanted to spend my life with him.

So through the next five months, I planned carefully.

(Present time)

"Oh Felix!!"

Felix looked over his shoulder at me.

"What is it, Rhea?"

I giggled.

"Halloween is next week, but Kimball and Emma asked me to throw a party this week." I lied.

"Oh really? What day this week?"

I blushed.

"later today,"

Felix turned around and shook his head, smiling down.

"Rhea. I see what's going on."

'Crapcrapcrap.'

"What do you mean?" I smiled up.

"Oh don't play coy, you know what I'm talking about"

I shook my head playing dumb.

"No, I don't."

Felix smirked harder.

"Rhea, I can make you talk."

'Fuck!!!'

"Uhhh bye!!"

I ran down the hallway and heard his footsteps behind me, so I ran faster. I made it down a few halls and into a broom closet. Felix caught up and looked through the hallway, opening each door, one by one, until he got to mine. I held my breath, that is, until someone interrupted him.

"Hey Felix! I need help with a prisoner in cell fifteen C!" Kimball called for him.

"I'll get her to talk later." I heard him mumble.

I smirked in the closet and thought about the plans that would take place in a few hours.

*Two hours later*

I remained crouched down inside the box, my black dress kept riding up and my black ears slid down. I adjusted them, and sighed. At least my tail stayed in place.

Tucker rolled me out of the kitchen, and into the dining hall.

"Tucker, can you speed this up? I'm suffocating in here."

"Rhea, stop complaining! Or you will ruin the surprise!"

'Ugh!!! Fine..."

I breathed in and out.

'I hate Tucker so much sometimes.... Why does he have to give me such horrible ideas? I can feel the walls closing in.'

I heard other people talking outside, it must be near the time.

"Where's Rhea?"

Felix....

"Oh she's cooking-"

"Getting ready!"

I sighed.

'Idiots.... Wash and Tucker are both gonna get it, when I get out..."

"Grif! Stop picking at the cake!"

"But I'm hungry!"

"That's because you're always hungry!!! Fatass..."

'Grif is also now on the kill list.'

"Kiss ass" He retorted.

"So, what is this cake for, fellas?"

"The halloween party, this afternoon."

"Uh huh. Do you guys know what today is?"

"Uhhh" I heard shifting.

"No?"

"The halloween party?"

I heard Felix sigh.

"Why does the cake say happy birthday then, dumbass?"

"It's uhh...little Billy from down the street."

"Uh huh... and why is the cake black and orange?" I heard him emphasis on the orange.

"Its his favorite color."

I smirked.

'These idiots are gonna give it away'

"And also my armor color."

Tucker laughed.

"That is coincidence, my dear douchebag"

'The frick? Dear douchebag?'

I prayed that Felix would get distracted and go away, don't get me wrong, I love him, but he suspects something!

"Felix! I need you again!"

Felix sighed again and I heard his footsteps as he walked to where Kimball needed him. Tucker continued rolling me to the dining hall.

"How long do I have to be in here?"

Tucker and Wash sighed.

"Until everyone is in here. This was your idea, Rhea."

"Actually, it was mine"

"Tucker, remind me to kill you later."

"Rhea, I can just leave you in this cake right here and get Felix"

"TUCKER DON'T YOU DARE! WASH DON'T LET HIM!!"

"Tucker don't, let them have this"

"Fine..."

I heard the doors open and felt the bump of the grate as I was rolled into the dining room. At long last.

"Finally!!!"

"Oh shut up. And pop out of the cake soon. Bow chicka bow wow."

"Tucker, I'm going to kill you."

"Oh yeah, how? You're in a cake."

"Shut up! I will wait until after I pop out."

"Bow chicka bow wow!"

"TUCKER!"

"Sorry! Leaving and getting the others."

(Twenty minutes later.)

Everyone gathered in the room, surrounding the huge cake.

"Where's Rhea?"

'My time has come!'

I stood up and revealed that I was in the cake all along, my cat ears poking up with a little bit of frosting on the tips.

"Surprise! Happy birthday Felix!"

Felix stared at me like a deer caught in headlights, but pulled me close to him and kissed me.

We enjoyed the festivities for the rest of the evening, or so we thought.

[violetsophist]

On the Run (South Park Fanfiction: Creek)

    A foul stench filled my nostrils as I walked by my roommate's room. What was that smell? This was bothering me, but I didn't want to intrude. Sure this was my apartment, but that was his room. Plus I didn't want to mess with him, he's not the person you would want to mess with. You see, he tends to be a bit antisocial. He gives off this pessimistic and pissed off vibe when he's around people. Of course he doesn't blatantly tell you, he just stares. He stares with those icy blue, piercing, cold and thinned eyes.     Golly those eyes made me tick, especially when he stared at me with them. My hair stands on end when he eyes me. And yet, he never spoke a word. It made my whole body prick and shake with anxiety. Was I doing something wrong? Did he need something? What? Goddammit what? I barely get a wink of sleep just thinking about him. He's so complex, from the way he walks to the way he talks. I don't know why I felt this way around my roommate, we've been friends since 4th grade, or so I thought. "Hey C-Craig," I knocked on his door as I called. "Yeah?" His nasal voice answered. "Did I get your laundry yet?" I asked, pinching my nose. "No," he replied. "Can I get it now?" "It's open."     I opened the door with slight hesitation and peeked into his room. It was dimly lit as before and smelt of sweaty laundry. This was why I owned the apartment, I actually picked up after myself and Craig. Craig was sitting on the floor, staring at his 10 inch screen, playing MW3. His eyes were focused on that intense scene in the game that he tries to get past. "Lovely day outside," I mentioned as I scrambled for all his dirty laundry. "Hmm," he grunted. "How about we go to the park and get some fro-yo?" I suggested hopefully. "Why not?" He mumbled and set down his controller. "Really?! That's great," I quaked with excitement, causing the dirty laundry to fall from my arms. "Don't get too excited, it's not a date or anything," he remarked with a sly grin as he assisted me with picking up his laundry.    Oh god! Does he think I love him? I certainly hope I haven't done anything to show such thing. I frantically reached for laundry and felt his cold, pale hand touch mine. "Gah!" I instantly fell over, feeling my cheeks get warm. "Wow Tweek chill," he laughed, "how about you get ready and I'll take my own laundry?"   Without a word I staggered out with embarrassment, my cheeks flushed red. Did that really just happen? No. I dashed to my room in a panicky manner and slammed my door shut. I quickly took off my jeans and started to unbutton my green flannel. Searching for a pair of socks, my mind raced with erotic thoughts. What to wear? There were so many things I could potentially wear, but I couldn't decide on one.  Suddenly, I saw something pink, and scraggly looking. It had words written repeatedly on it, in white font. I read the words "hotline bling". Since when did I have this? I held it up to my bare chest in the mirror, not too bad. "Hey Tweek- dude what the Hell is that?" He pointed at the pink sweater. "Uh I don't know," I exclaimed, flinging it onto the floor. "Do you need help deciding what to wear?" He asked with  a snicker. "Yes," I sighed in defeat. "Here we go," he pulled out a green tshirt with the white Starbucks logo. "Seriously?" I groaned. "Heck yeah, you look the best in green," he  held the shirt up to my chest. "Gah! No I don't, I mean thanks," I stuttered in awe of his compliment.      He looked through my clothes as I put the shirt on. Slightly embarrassed, my cheeks grew red again. Craig actually complimented me! This was shocking because Craig never uttered a single compliment to anyone, but of all people, he complimented me? Something was different today, Craig was in a good mood. Not that he was always in a bad mood, but something was different here and it was very peculiar. I stared at him, zoning out in those black locks of his, I bet they were soft. "Well are you going to stand and stare at me, or are we getting fro-yo?"He teased me. "What? Yeah!" "I'll pay."    I swung the door open and got a whiff of the fresh autumn breeze. I shivered at the frigid draft, but moved on. Craig's warm breath hit the back of my neck as we walked to the park. The tall teen was wearing his usual blue and yellow hat, and a blue hoodie. He then compelled himself to walk beside me, matching my pace. His pale white hand brushed past my trembling hand ever so slightly, it tickled. We reached the fro-yo stand and he bought me my favorite kind. How'd he know that? Maybe the quiet teen was observing every small detail in his life as it passed by. "Th-thanks Craig," my teeth chattered as I was battered with a blast of frosty wind. "No problem Tweekster," he sat down on a bench next to me.     I ate the frozen treat hastily, giving my head a brain freeze. "Gah!" I blurted out and twitched in pain. "Gah indeed," he squinted at me with amused eyes.     Rolling my eyes, I shivered and continued to consume the treat. This was a pretty shitty idea, Tweek. Where is the logic in eating a frozen treat in the middle of autumn? In fact, I was so desperate to get his attention that I blurted out an idea.  God I hated this, I was miserable and cold. Why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut? Craig probably thinks I'm an idiot for bringing us out here! There goes our future together, right down the drain. "You alright there,Tweek?" He blinked with concern. "It's a bit c-cold, ah!" I yelped. "Want my hoodie?" He offered.   "No that's okay-AH CRAIG WHAT ARE YOU- "Hold still Tweekster," he pulled the jacket over my head, forcing it on me while sitting on my lap.    I continued to scream but my screams were muffled. People walked by and stopped, I hoped it wasn't someone we knew. "Craig what are you doing to Tweek?" A familiar voice cackled. "I was just assisting our friend by putting his hoodie on," Craig sneered.    Craig's weight left my lap and my head was finally through the hoodie so I could breathe again. Oh God! It was the worst of them all, feared by everyone in South Park, Eric Cartman. "Well why don't you just get a room or something. We all know that wasn't what you were doing," Eric remarked with a wicked grin.     Instead of giving a savage response, Craig simply flicked Eric off with his default, emotionless face. Now I knew Craig was pissed off for sure. Usually Craig ignores someone, but when you really piss him off: you get the finger. "Ooh the finger? I wouldn't stick up the finger you put in Tweek's asshole in public if I were you," Eric snickered. "Gah what?!" I exclaimed. "You best leave, before I smack that stupid grin off your fat face," Craig spat in a threatening tone.         Uh-oh, Eric has really done it. He's pushed Craig to the next level of fury, threats. Please leave Eric, please. "Oh really? Let me tell you something Craig," Eric growled menacingly and snatched Craig by his collar, " I don't listen to homosexuals, especially you." "Eat my shorts," Craig stared Eric dead in the eye with such an obscure hatred. "That's exactly what I would expect from your kind," Eric scorned with an evil smile.     Eric held his fist up, ready to hit Craig. My heart thumped rapidly, I was wondering whether I should call for help or not. Craig didn't seem the least bit scared, he appeared as if he was ready to take the blow. Before Eric's fist met Craig's face, I immediately stood up and accidentally knocked my fro-yo on the ground. "Stop it right now Eric," I shouted with nervousness.    He pushed Craig back onto the bench and then strolled over to me with his towering structured and muscled body. I felt my fists ball up and my whole body quake with fear as he stared down at me . "What was that fag? I couldn't hear you over your profound gayness," he laughed and shoved me on the ground. "Scared? What are you going to do about it?" He chuckled and put his foot on my throat, "ready to go to Hell?"        I gulped with regret as I thought I may die a Virgin and an anxious teen. Eric pressed down on my throat and I squirmed to get up, but it only made the pain worse. Warm tears leaked onto my cheeks as I started to suffocate. This was it, this was the end. "Hey fatass! You forget about me," Craig yelled and leapt onto Eric's back, pulling him off of me.      The two fell backwards, I gasped for air as they wrestled on the concrete. My lungs throbbed as I took in huge gasps of air. Blurry figures made their way over to split up the fight. Inaudible shouts were made from the oncoming crowd as the two were spilt up. Someone came and dragged me up, swinging my arms onto their shoulders for support. I regained my vision and started to see a mass of people, Token was there, and Clyde was supporting me. I couldn't see Eric or Craig, there were too many people blocking the way. "Everything is alright Tweek," Clyde soothed and clung onto my side. "T-t-tweek what happened?" Jimmy stood in front of me and Clyde. "Gah! Where's Craig?" I ignored his question.    The crowds started  clearing away as Stan, Kyle, Butters, and Kenny dragged Eric away from Craig. Craig was held back by Token and Jason. Craig broke free and wiped his bloody nose on his collar. Eric's left eye was black and puffy, it swelled greatly. He also had a bloody nose and a couple of scrapes. Craig's nose bled profusely, clots and scarlet drops leaked out of it. My stomach lurched and I stood on end, feeling slightly dizzy. I swayed a bit, only to be steadied by Clyde who clutched my side. "You're okay Tweek," he assured me. "Hey why don't you guys just leave this poor lid alone?" Clyde yelled at Eric's gang. "It's not our fault," Butters called out as the others cursed and left. "Bullshit," Clyde spat.      Butters didn't reply, he just simply followed his companions out of the park. Token and Jason walked Craig over to the bench where we sat. Craig's nose had dried blood on it and his face had a couple of bruises. Why did he get himself into these messes? I wanted to fling my arms around and grasp him in my tight embrace, but I didn't. "What caused it this time?" Token inquired. "He called us gay again and then threatened Tweek," Craig answered in a bitter tone. "Who won?"Clyde blurted out, only to be silenced by a glare from Token. "Eric came out on top, so he technically won," Jason answered Clyde's question. "Damn Craig, again," Clyde complained. "Shut up Clyde," Token hissed. "We're going home,"Craig announced with an aggravated tone. "You're welcome," Clyde remarked sarcastically. "YOU BEST WATCH YOUR MOUTH ASSHOLE!" Craig veered around to swing a heavy fist down on Clyde.    A loud crack split the eerie silence, all of us stared in horror at Craig, who stood over the unconscious Clyde. Token and Jason went after Craig, who grabbed my hand and yelled "RUN!" What just happened? We were running from our friends and possibly from the police. I feared that Token, who was an athlete, would catch us. I didn't dare to look back, all I could focus on was Craig, clutching my sweaty hand. Please let us reach home! Token was still on us, Jason had fell behind, he wasn't the type to run. We then made a sharp turn onto Ebony Lane, I frantically glanced around as we kept running. This wasn't our road, what were we doing? I panted and grew faint, my run turned into a walk. Craig kept pulling me, causing me to fall into him.       Craig quickly recovered and picked me up, swinging me onto his back. "GAH CRAIG WHA- "You're mine Craig," Token yelled, getting closer. "In your dreams," Craig turned and halted, sticking up his middle finger. "Ha! Typical Craig," Token chuckled.     Craig forced my hands into balled fists and whispered for us to fight together. Fighting Token, our own friend, I don't know if I could do this. Token stuck up for us and protected us from bullies such as Eric. Now we were about to fight him! "Tweek you don't have to side with him," Token said with concern, "join m-    Craig slammed his fists against Token's chest, knocking the air out of him. Token gasped and fell back with agony. This was our cue to take off back to our house. I wondered if this meant we were fugitives.